The 'Perfect life'

June 29, 2018


Unhappy, fake, troubled, tired, stressed - does it ring a bell? Aren't those the epitomes of Modern society? Why are we so miserable? What's pushing us to the edge of mental discomfort? 

Can it be our own priorities that makes us joyless? What are the priorities of people these days?

Modern society's number one priority - Emulating the 'Perfect life'. But what is a perfect life?

How does perfection translates into our not- so- perfect human existence?

Following the norms and expectations of others without any personal freedom or spontaneous deviation? Mastering control, is that it? Fighting fear through obsession and personal jurisdiction on our entire life orientation? At the end, through our conformist reality, who are we creating that perfection for, ourselves or others? And who are the 'others'? Are those the very few people who loves and accept us with all our flaws or are those the people who don't care, have little to non impact on our lives, and use judgement as entertainment ?

Where is this 'follow-ist servant' attitude and culture coming from (religion?), why can't we diverge every now and again based on our own wisdom and personal judgement? 

Are we 'domesticated' and conditioned this way so that we are too busy with our own troubles to be able to see the truth and thus kept obedient? Do we actually fear rejection and exclusion so badly that we are ready to torture and punish ourselves just to be seen by others in a certain way,  and all at the expense of our own happiness and aspirations? Or is there a gigantic insufficiency of self-confidence and self- love? Looks like the only way to live the 'Perfect life' is to master the 'Perfect fear'. 

Well, that surely explains the lack of spontaneity in people. Do we follow the socially accepted logical circle of the Perfect life?  To have a 'perfect life' we have to conform, and to conform we need control, and to control we need the execution of 'good habits' . And this is how we avoid the fear of rejection and therefore be Accepted and live a perfect life.

Now, we all know habits lead to Comfort zones, and we are only victims of our Comfort zones as we are actually missing out on everything and anything else that is outside of it.

We appear to 'have it all', but in reality we lack self-confidence and lead sheltered lives where the only things we do have are our own fears and the actual lack of control. Our own internal perception is so twisted by that fear that obsessive control becomes the pivot of our lives. It is indeed a vicious circle, and the only way to come out of it is to believe in your own intuitive personality and values. To be spontaneous and adventurous, unpredictable and untamed. Stepping out of our Comfort zone is teaching us resilience and flexibility. It opens our mind to possibilities and opportunities. It gives us the personal confidence we all need to be someone instead of anyone, and also awards us with the 'IF'.

What if there is better life for me somewhere else, doing something else? What if there is someone who will love me the way I want to be loved? What if the 'Perfect life' is actually build upon all our perceived imperfections? What if I lead a life un-bothered by the opinions and norms of others? What if being faulty in the eyes of others is actually the happiness in mine?

We don't need to have a 'Perfect life' in order to be happy and fulfilled. We don't have to pretend we are what others see as Special, as we all are indeed Special, and to see it, we just need our own love. We don't need the approval of anyone, all we need is our own appreciation. Life can be beautiful if we dare to look further than our problems. Our smiles can be wider if learn how to listen to our hearts.




Be spontaneous, be confident and love yourself just the way you are....and of coarse, don't forget to smile!



Nicole xxx