N-anta and the delivery elfs

December 15, 2017

In the age of instant everything, having patience is becoming as rare as winning the lottery.

But I have never possessed that wonderful trait anyway, even when things weren't happening with the speed of today. I've always been the "I wanted it all, and wanted it now" kind of gaal. And even the countless disappointments and mistakes made by my lack of patience, couldn't turn me into the calmly waiting and composed person I would like to be. 

Ok, maybe I am not exactly the red faced, head steaming, angrily impatient driver you see in Saturday traffic around Harrods, but my irritation comes alive in harsh sarcastic remarks...or talking to myself with the gentle tone of an old, annoying Mother-in-law.

Well, common don't act so shocked, you've talked to yourself too... just admit it, I won't tell anyone. We all have a seat on the "Looney Tune Train", some of us even two.

So, back to my patience, or rather impatience.

I have been a very good girl this year and I did successfully manage to offend more than 200 insecure, little "Bros", by refusing to take their nonsense, so, I have been awarded with N-istmas presents and N-anta Applause. My presents are coming in a from of a new boudoir ie new bedroom furniture and decoration.

Turn's out, not only N-anta's Beer budget doesn't match my Champagne taste, but the evil delivery Elfs are punishing me for eating too many vegetables this year. 

I have to smilingly practise my non existent patience for weeks now, and on top of it, be stuck at home waiting for the special "chimney noise" of  the "Finally its here".

Mid time, I ate all the vegan cookies and drunk all coconut milk in the world. Looks like N-anta should add some extra classes at the gym to my present list, coz I am definitely gonna need them.

I think, all this Holiday cheer is proving to be too much for me. By the time is over and all my presents arrive, I might be in need of a therapy.

So, in 2018, anybody who needs to improve their massage skills is welcome to come practise on me.....


Marry Patience Everybody.....Yo...Yo...Yo.....and don't forget to smile!



Nicole xxx

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