I've been having an Ombre hair (meaning longer and darker roots and blond ends) for few months now, and seriously starting to consider going back to my natural hair colour, which disappointingly is not blonde. Yes, I am originally brunette...sorry for the deception. Some of us need help in the beauty department, but blame it on our parents, there are the ones who didn't afford us the genetic lottery.
I don't know if my leaning towards the "darkness" is simply because the damage done from the bleach, doesn't allow my hair to shine anymore, and I really like shiny hair, or is it because I am longing for a change.
The second one scares me a little. I like continuity and sameness, and when thoughts of change crawl in my mind, it's most probably a red signal.
Every time, I feel like I am in need of a change, usually it means I am not happy with a certain aspect of my life. And has never, even once, been a hair issue.
So what is it that's pushing my change buttons this time?
I have perfectly wonderful life. I am enjoying a healthy body,spirit and loved ones. I am the commander and chief of my life, and benefit daily from tons of free personal time, flexible working schedule, and exploration of my hobbies. I travel often, explore new cultures and spoil myself with loads of delicious food at beautiful gourmet restaurants. I manage my finances alright. I am happy and positive most of the time, and when things are not going great I always look at the glass half full.
Seemingly all is in order, and I have, as for the majority of us, the 80%. And of coarse, it is only human, every now and again to look in the plate of the 20%, but I have never been the greedy kind.
Then suddenly hits me. I know what it is that's missing and breaking my balance. It's my home...or the lack of it really. I am not at home, and haven't been for a long time, and I am really a home body.
As much as I love London, it is a very recent and unfamiliar territory for me. It is a completely new lifestyle that I am living here, and as George Sand once said- "Admiration and Familiarity are strangers".
I haven't taken the decision to stay yet, and my house doesn't reflect who I am even the slightest. I have a nice apartment, and I did surround myself with all the necessary basics, but it's not a home. There is no personal touch, no components in which to recognise myself. No loved ones, no friends to entertain, no mama's barking little angels, no memories, no homey spirit. It is just a place I live in.
The home is one of our most intimate possessions, it's our sanctuary from the world. It's a place where we can be truly genuine and authentic, where we can surround ourselves with all that we love and need. From the objects to the people, everything is special. A place of piece, ingenuity and love.
I am widely artistic, original, and like expressing myself in almost everything I do and have. I like order and aesthetics, I like twisting the trends and challenging the norms, but most of all I like being encircled by 'my people' and love.
I had to leave behind two beautiful homes of mine, in the past 5 years. Homes, in which I had so many wonderful memories and loving days. Homes I didn't spare time, effort, creativity, self-expression, love or finances to make beautiful, comfortable and my own. Homes, where I could be Me, enjoy all special people in my life, where I didn't only exist, but lived.
I miss having a home.
Perhaps the time to make London my home has come. Applying some personal touches to my apartment, is a much better first step than changing my hair colour. Making some new friends for indulgent long home cooked dinners and tipsy overnights, movie marathons with popcorn and my kido, getting the family to visit every now and again, and for my mom to critic my choices of scatter cushions or art, having my dogs around (I miss those babies so much) , creating some memories - now, that for sure will bring back the balance.
It may never be what I am used to, it may not even be a real home, or even worth the few pennies I will spend along the way, but will definitely be worth the little happiness it will bring into my life.
Let Project HOME begin !
Treasure your home.....and don't forget to smile!
Thank you 'M' for my beautiful African gift, it is a wonderful starting addition to my To -be- home! I will frame and hang soon, for me to enjoy every single day.