More than a feeling

November 28, 2017

 

Sure or not, of who we are, we are all guilty of wearing our 'society mask', few times too often.

That invisible disguise that alters our 'wild inner Me',  to the  'socially desirable and acceptable Me'. That well presented, shiny veil, that we like wearing every time we are afraid of not being enough. That heavy visor that exhausts our minds, and crushes our happy demeanour with it's insecurities. 

We all like participating in that 'social carnival'. Dancing and twirling around in our glitzy camouflage, throwing some rehearsed skills at the crowd, with an aim to impress.

But all of us, without exception, want to eventually go home. Take all that crazy costume drama off our shoulders, and just stand 'naked' . Free, authentic, basic, different and even weird. 

 

And... it happens, every not so often, that we meet that crazy someone, who gets a glimpse of our bareness, and surprisingly, they like it.

That shelter of effortless existence that they create for us, those perfectly synchronised voices of acceptance and attention, become our sacred life melody. 

So when we meet those special people, we dream of keeping them forever.

We call our feelings love, and dive into the infinite desire of approval. 

But is that really love? 

 

Maybe... perhaps, not the type we refer to. It is the love for ourselves that gets triggered there. The sudden outer validation we receive, that's so needed , the one that gives us the permission to finally love and accept ourselves. The notion of feeling and being enough.

And very few of us investigate or question those feelings further, as it's so much easier living in delusion than facing the truth. What we so loudly call love, often it's nothing more than just comfort and security. We selfishly exploit those special people to get what we need, completely forgetting they have needs too. Forgetting that just one melody is not enough to create our life time of musical medley. 

So when our "love" falls apart, we blame it on those same people, on life, on time, on circumstances... where the truth is, we never really loved to begin with.

We only loved ourselves.

Love does not evaporate when is not returned or when life challenges appear, does not get old with time and it is not judgemental or manipulated by circumstances. When we say 'the love is gone' what we really mean is that , it was actually never there.

You don't agree?  

Well, look at how we love our children. From the moment we see them and even before that, we commit to our love for them completely. No matter how hard is to raise them, no matter how much they hurt us or misbehave, no matter their abilities or disabilities, their virtues and their failures, we don't ever stop loving them. No matter how old they get we still stress every move they make. Without expecting them to ever appreciate and recognise our sacrifices, we know they are worth it . There is no conditions, there is no expiration date, just love and dedication. 

Can you honestly say you ever loved anyone like this , anyone besides yourself and your kids?

I've came across that dilemma many times in my life, and equally as many, I've seen others battling with it. 

Turns out true love is not just a feeling, it is a decision. It is not what we momentarily like and admire, or what we briefly feel that defines love. It's our full commitment, our goals and passion, our mind and thoughts, our perseverance and resilience - that's true love. 

 

 

Happy 48th Anniversary to my Amazing Parents, they have not only truly loved me, but have also shown me what true love is! 

 

Love truly...and don't forget to smile!

 

 

 

Nicole

 

 

 

 

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