Friends Cupboard

November 1, 2017


Humans are social animals. We need interaction with others. To be a successful part of society we need to socialise and make friends.

From a very early age socialising plays a pivotal role in our individual development and growth and the skills we develop through socialising are not biologically inherited, but learned.

It is proven that children who grew up in an absence of cultural or social interaction have lasting brain damage and lack of basic emotional and mental development.

To be healthy and happy individuals, we need to be loved and supported, accepted and filled with purpose, thus our craving for family and friends. 

Unlike our family, we can choose our friends. We can decide what type of people we want to be surrounded by even classify them by "importance", but making good friends can be challenging.

There is a saying - 'You meet people for a reason, for a season or for life".

Do we know which one of those categories we've met when reaching for a friendship?

We don't, and we won't until one day, we just do.

Years ago I valued socialising much more than today. I was constantly surrounding myself with people, I called my friends. I shared with them my days, my life, my tears, joy and my most intimate emotions. I even often placed my entire happiness in their hands. 

After many bitter disappointments and careful observations of my hurt feelings, I've learned how to vet the real friends and have "coffee relationships" with the rest.

Turns out a Friend is a rare find, and all of mine are men.

I like the girl talk and Gals nights out. I like to feel like I am talking to a person who understands me and has walked at least a mile in my high heals. I like to be in the company of someone who's felt some labour pains and knows how huge the importance of lipstick is. But, in fact I only like what I've conceptualised in my mind a girlfriend-ship should be. Every time I was trying to get close to a woman and make her a friend, I ended up with broken spirit. I didn't realise I'm signing up for ugly gossip and cattiness. I didn't have any idea, I will be a proud participant in deceiving hugging, jealous outbursts and hidden agendas. l couldn't predict I am to enter a contest for competitive men-hunting or be the listener of the announcement of my feelings on the local radio. I also didn't envision for myself being part of aggressive shopping and talks about Prada bags and shoes every day. 

Waking up one day, after a decade of clearing up my "Friends cupboard", turns out all the female crockery are just cheap coffee mags. Some of them not even worth the space in my tiny cupboard.

Oh, don't get me wrong, women are magnificent creatures, just the once I've tried to get close to were not so great in the "friends department". It is just my luck, I suppose. 

I will forever stand for women and their emotions and rights, but I also get to stand for my choice of friends. And my choice is the friends who are real, and the only real friends I've met are men.

Loyal, supportive, non-judgemental, interesting, wise, down-to-Earth, easy-going, positive and wonderful. 

Of course, they can be annoying when trying to talk me into watching sports the entire day or go on and on about alternators, spark plugs and valves but then again something got to give...I will just have to make sure they hear about the current trends in lipstick colours and watch the latest Chick flicks. 


Choose your friends carefully....and don't forget to smile!


Nicole xxx