Everyone who knows me, knows how much I adore my happily divorced status and my freedom. But even though, my good friends appreciate that single happiness, my feminist point of view, and understand the driving force behind it, they never seize to surprise me with their notion of love.
Just the other day, a girlfriend of mine has asked me - 'Why are you turning away the guys who chase you, what about love?'
What about it ?...
If I have to explain again and again, that love is not absent from my live, just because I don't get to call anyone "my man", then perhaps, the lack of understanding lays in the deepest love troubles of my friends, and not the deficiency of love in my own life.
I see every day how the "woman of a certain age" is expected to feel desperate for love, and enter a committed relationship the second a man winks at her. But what most of my friends fail to grasp, is the simple concept of love.
Just because a man is chasing, it doesn't mean he is loving.
Man like the hunt, they are intrigued by it. They will chase as long as we run, and they will even enjoy it.
By chasing us they feed their own needs and ego, which has very little, if non, to do with Love.
What happens when we stop running?
Will those hunters honour the sovereignty of our souls, will they let us live our lives without manipulation and restrain, will they show us compassion and empathy, will they care if we are smiling and what our passions are?
Make no mistake, infatuation and lust are not Love.
Love is larger than life, and far too big to be imprisoned in one man. Love radiates on every aspect of our lives. Love has no boundaries or territory, it has no body or material frame. Love does not come with conditions and agendas, neither does it, necessarily come with relationships or marriage. Love is all around us, and if we are failing to feel it in everything we touch , we surely won't see it in the eyes of a man.
Feeling lonely, unhappy and broken within, but yearning for a man who is supposed to fix it all ...is that the winning formula for love?
How unfortunate than, because certainly men do not have a "fix me up" magic tricks up their sleeves, and they can not provide us with all that, we are unwilling to work for ourselves.
Men would not make us happy if the only thing we build our happiness upon, is them.
The irony is, if we do not, already feel all that love we need within ourselves, we will never be able to recognise it even if a man is serving it to us on a silver platter.
And even worse, if we stay with someone who is not giving us any of it, but we are willing to put up with it, just to mask that absence of love in our own hearts, and pretend happiness in front of the world.
It's not Society's Best , that is the best for us, but what makes us be the Best we can possibly be.
Finding what makes us whole and content, enjoying the beauty of every day life, learning to listen to our inner voice- now this is finding love.
Once you find it within you , you will find it everywhere. You don't need a man to feel loved and to love! Being alone, does not mean Lonely!
Don't search too far, start within....and don't forget to smile!