The Escort Industry is on a rise in the recent years, and hundreds of thousands of women around the world are operating under the "escort umbrella". More than 90% of those woman are in their teens or early 20's. The escort consumer is loving that fact, and the rest of society is stigmatising them every step of the way.
Should we not, perhaps,instead of condemning, dig dipper into the issue and try understand why so many young women are turning to such denounced profession?
I personally, have asked myself that question so many times. I've wondered endlessly, why those young, vibrant woman that carry no burdens of family responsibilities and life' baggage, are choosing Escorting.
I have heard many opinions on the subject. It is laziness, greed, sex addiction,poor background etc...
Somehow, all those surface level observations , even if in some cases correct, did not shape the entire answer for me, and I kept on pondering in search of the truth.
Possibly, if try and understand the issues of today's youth, look into the young women' way of thinking, emotions and aspirations, I will be able to have a clearer vision, and form an educated opinion about that issue. An opinion, that, maybe, can help someone- a mother, a friend, a lover, a young escort herself.
When kids are young, they are like a sponge. Just absorbing everything they come across. Sadly, it is easier to soak up the negative,rather than the positive.
In their early childhood , girls play with their perfect looking dolls, colour in princesses with beautiful gowns and speak to imaginary friends, without even realising that every little thing they see, hear, touch or imagine, forms them and their individuality.
Most parents, surely, provide great material comfort for their kids, but do they attend to girls' emotional needs, do they understand and motivate them?
Taking care of a family, while trying to juggle marriage, career, bills and emotional distress is by all means, a hectic duty, and understanding the youth, often seems like a colossal labour, better left ignored.
The constantly exhausted parents, galloping through adult fret, rarely have the time to prize their kids or offer emotional support, but often verbally display their displease, in case of a wrong doing.Those parents are just as responsible as the rest of society for the youth's mental health.
Kids often turn to internet and social media in quest of finding understanding and inner comfort. Regrettably we all know where that leads. Insecurities, self-esteem issues, inter-personal competition, eating disorders, hidden dangers, obsessions ....should I go on?
And then,after all this heavy load - there comes the school. The Almighty King of endless knowledge.
Education is, undoubtedly, the most valuable asset in every person's life, and the earlier kids understand that, the better. The educators have the uneasy tusk to lead the youth towards that realisation.
Something that has caught my attention, time and time again, is the the way most teachers present to pupils their school studies and responsibilities.
Students are repeatedly told year after year- School is very difficult, every year will become harder and include a significant amount of work and dedication and kids should forget everything else and just study - which is OK(sort of), and I perfectly well understand the effort level of students, needs to increase as they progress through their education.But, what has astonished me, is the amount of negativity, those words are delivered with, every time. Those teachers' regular predictions of failure and lowered performance, are completely terrifying kids.
I mean, honestly...what are you going to teach them Neuroscience, why can't you let kids be excited and happy to be at school ?
The check on reality is highly appreciated, and teacher's opinions and predictions matter, as they are guided by experience, but seriously, why set such morbid starting tone?
Isn't it a teacher's responsibility to inspire, motivate and influence positively the students to the best of their ability? Isn't the aim of every school, producing smart,responsible and educated individuals and future community leaders?
Setting an expectation for failure in a young, impressionable mind, is probably, just as good as an actual failure.
No student will be able, or even want to deliver 100%, if they are told from the start they Can Not.
In cases where they feel the lack of appreciation and stimulation, they are most likely to lose interest. That is just the simple human psychology.
High school especially is the transition period, where kids are turning into young adults. Developing their physical, mental, social and emotional skills, while learning and educating themselves further. They are able to think more abstractly, understand more complex issues and every impression, suggestion or example is important in their development. Motivation to thrive, can only come from pointing all rewards of a great education, and from perhaps, "cutting the kids some slack".
By all means, be strict and set the rules of conduct, but do not discourage those young minds, and make them feel like a failure, before they've even shown you, what they are capable of!
I personally,find such approach offensive and emotionally damaging. Especially for the girls, who we all know, are much more spontaneous, imprudent and sensitive.
No matter how mature, rational,confident and hardworking one teenage girl is, she is still a vulnerable child. Insecurities and self-doubt are easily carved in such budding mind.
Crushing, under the immense burden of society's norms, education pressure, family's lack of understanding and extremely high overall expectations , it's so easy.
When home nor school, nor society can provide a safe emotional environment for children to thrive, how can we expect them to blossom and become a well-functioning adults?
The most that have shown resilience, and have survived the heavy burdens of growing up, self-image confusions, high school issues etc. , and have successfully integrated themselves into University life or a new jobs, are facing another unfamiliar wave of problems and despair. University fees, bills, angry society, beauty norms- just a few to mention.
Many young girls, these days battle quietly with mental issues and instabilities. Their "infant" minds are unprepared for the life's hurricane. Not every young girl is equipped with emotional straight, maturity and enough family support, and I can understand clearly now, why so many of them, choose a profession with quick financial rewards in which no special skills or qualities are needed.
I can see how slippery the "High-way" becomes, and how quietly redirecting to the unorthodox life of Escorting is seen as an Escape. They do not fully comprehend, the implications this profession will have on their young future, they do not, yet, realise they are depriving themselves of much...
But surely, Escorting seems to them, like an "Oasis in the harsh desert of Reality"
Entering this profession, even as an already established character and an adult, I am straggling to keep my chin up all the time. I am not sure what would've become of me and my mental state, if I was a very young girl finding myself in that position!
Be more understanding and less judgemental, everybody fights their own demons...... and don't forget to smile!