Not My Playground

October 1, 2017


I have always found swinging a slightly gross idea, but my prejudice is only based on the idea of what actually swinging is.

I only assume what everyone that hasn't swung themselves assumes - that swinging is 2-4-6-8  married/coupled, consenting adults having crazy sex while swapping each other's partners. In principle nothing wrong with that but I have always wondered about the technicalities involved. In other words, swinging is like having multiple affairs, and I find that difficult to comprehend. How can swinging with no damage be possible, with all the complications and feelings associated with having sex with other people?

But since there are over 10 million people who swing in the world, and the number of Swing clubs is growing every day, apparently is perfectly fine to pop around with you partner, after dinner for a bit of a shag with random people.

As everything else that is viewed as unconventional, swinging brought up my natural curiosity, and I wanted to find out "the insides".

For a long time I didn't see that possible, as I was not interested in swinging myself and I am also a very happily living into singledom. Until one day, I was presented with the opportunity to visit a swing club with a regular client of mine. 

We were talking one evening over dinner, and somehow swinging came up. I have expressed to him my curiosity, and since, he has always wondered about it himself, he proposed we visit a swing club and find out what is swinging really about. 

Fabulous! I will finally be able to see behind the doors of assumption. 

We found a club online. It was members only club, so we had to register as a couple, and even send pictures of us together. After the initial approval process, we were invited to our first party.

We were assured, from the club's manager, that we don't have to do anything we aren't comfortable with and can think about it as a normal night out.

I was nervous about what awaits us, but still quite excited to have a glimpse at the real swinger's life.

I was advised to "dress-to-impress" but instead, I wore a black top and jeans, as I did not want to attract too much attention. After all, I looked at this adventure as an investigation into the secret life of (some) married people, not an opportunity to swing.

Before we headed to the club, we had dinner, and I was a little generous with the white wine consumption. Perhaps it was the nerves and fear of unknown that pushed me into that generosity, but since I am not really a drinker..."Tipsy" came like a car from "The fast and the furious".

So, all the more excited, with the help of old friend "Chardonnay" , I began my quest to discovering the secrets of the swingers.


On our entrance to the club, we were greeted by a big intimidating security guy and shown to the reception, where we had to present out ID's in order to be allowed to the party.

Everything was very professional, there was non of the glamorous kitsch interiors or "funny" looks, I imagined in my head.

We handed our coats to the charming "Wardrobe" lady, who suggested we are a bit early, then were escorted to the bar area. Very smooth indeed. 

Inside - a lovely bar atmosphere, people were standing/sitting around , chatting and drinking. There was nothing abnormal going on. 

We had our drinks and  were giggling about random stuff as usual, when we were approached by a tiny "Sheldon" looking gentleman (Sheldon from the "Big Bang Theory" I am referring to). He introduced himself as one the very few single male patrons and told us he will be showing us around the premises together with another "Beginners" couple. 

The part of the club he begun showing us, was completely empty, apparently was used only later in the evening when everyone has already "warmed-up". We were walking through small, red lighted corridors leading into rooms and rooms of "pleasure". There were big rooms, with sofas and multiple beds. There were smaller rooms with chars around one bed. There were completely dark rooms, rooms with one bed, dungeons with BDSM was completely overwhelming.

We were even shown looker rooms, where apparently we could change our clothes...what?... I didn't quite get this one( at this point).

After we were done with the tour, we were given little welcoming prezzies, and told we can return lat